Stuff That Doesn't Suck
A.
The Cancer Card
There are many unexpected benefits to having cancer, but one of the most powerful is using “the cancer card”. Be warned, it can’t be used too much or it will lose its power. So choose to use it only when you really need it.
For example, remember that cat or dog you always dreamed of but your parents wouldn’t allow it? “I used the cancer card ONCE with my family to get a dog to keep me company during my long days at home [since] we were not allowed to have a dog while I was growing up” survivor Allyson recalls. This isn’t an unusual request. If you’re sick and unable to be around friends a pet can keep you company and will love you no matter how much hair your have on your head. Plus since your immunity is low you won’t have to pick up after your pet (aka no pooper scooping or litter cleaning for a year!)
The cancer card can also get you out of trickier jams. Once when my Mom and I were speeding down a road a cop went to pull us over. I pulled off my wig, made myself look sad, and when the cop knock on our window I apologized and said we were only speeding because we were late to my chemotherapy appointment. Result? No ticket.
Another Allison, who had stage 3B, used the cancer card to get taxi service on a busy Saturday night. It was raining and the dispatcher didn’t seem in much of a hurry so she said, “I have cancer and can’t be out in this bad weather”!
Five minutes later a taxi arrived.
While the cancer card can be used sparingly on little things (show up to a restaurant bald and you’ll probably get great service), it shouldn’t be used on just anything. Your teachers will catch on if every class you need to see the nurse because of cancer and you’ve been in remission 5 months. Or don’t expect to cut people in line just because you’re bald (unless it’s a really good movie then maybe.
Just remember, the cancer card is a valuable tool- so long as you don’t misuse it!